Loving A Man Is

Loving a man is quite different from giving yourself over to a man. (A man here is both genders). The great example of loving and giving one’s self over is Christ or for the romantics Romeo. We seem to do both when we accept a man's name with his pedigree or when we share our names, identity with another opening our bloodlines to a new person. 

Giving ourselves is a high state of love and trust in the person. We all give time, affection, money but giving the totality of one’s self is quite a sacrifice. We seem to confuse loving with forgetting our own existence while sharing another’s. Loving a man does not equal to forgetting you’re someone with the right to be loved.

Back to the difference between loving a man and giving yourself to a man. For a person struggling with alcoholism, security and anger issues, loving is the best remedy. Loving such a person entails praying for him/her (sounds religious but trust me it goes a long way), encourage him with your words, give when and what you can. Now giving yourself entails opening up all the way, being vulnerable to him/her which can lead to getting entangled in his issues to the extent of becoming someone else. A man that has not yet learnt to handle himself will no doubt break you; it might not be conscious or intentional. I’m a fan of the ‘power of love to change’ but let’s be conscious of what we are giving in a relationship, if truly we can afford it.

Beauty and the Beast

This happens to be a favorite story of mine; it’s a popular story of how Beauty’s love transformed a beast to a charming prince. We somehow confuse or act this fairytale in reality. I no doubt believe in the efficacy of love to change a man but that I think is a divine love. Love is no longer love if you start developing amnesia towards who you are.

What this great story missed was the fact that beasts have fangs and fangs bite. Have you ever wondered if the beast had a deadly venom and what’d have happened if Beauty was constantly bitten?

Back to real life, we (both women and men) though it’s more obvious in women tend to think our love can change the most brutal beast to a charming prince. Many have gone on this honorable quest as a savior to save and turn beasts to charming princes. If beauty was constantly bitten by the beast, would she have had any beauty left to be beautiful? I guess you know where all this is headed: Abuse, all kinds: domestic violence, emotional abuse for both genders. Compromising I understand is necessary in relationships but why compromise on something that violates your right as a human being.  Fixing a person when you’re not in that career line is not a healthy way to live for the rest of your life. Believing in someone enough for him to change is good but putting yourself in the equation to rearrange deep aged issues is not exactly a nice way to live unless you are called to do so. The moral of the story is to learn when to love and when to give yourself to a person.